merryDEATHx's Xanga

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:06:20 GMT

Ugh, it`s only the beginning of the semester and I already hate senior year. I can`t even concentrate on doing my lab report because I keep thinking about how much I hate doing it.

My GPA is already low. I can`t afford to fail any classes because then the UMDNJ program won`t accept me. I don`t have any backup plans if I fail.

This makes me so stressed out.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:10:08 GMT

This definitely relates to how I feel about what`s been going on around me lately:

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mon, 11 May 2009 04:52:45 GMT

This was said by one of my closest friends. He`s talking about a girl that he likes:

"Ang ganda niya kapag tumatawa and pag nag smile,, laglag ang puso ko.."

I make fun of him all the time because he`s a hopeless romantic and he gets corny sometimes whenever he talks about her. But that just made my heart sigh.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Wed, 06 May 2009 22:28:43 GMT

Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be exists, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the heartache and fear of what life is going to throw at you.

I don`t believe in horoscopes but this one sounds helpful.

Mon, 04 May 2009 18:48:41 GMT

Friendster Horoscope for May 4, 2009

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

The Bottom Line

There are a ton of different emotions in your heart, but you need to feel them all.

In Detail

There are a ton of different emotions in your heart right now, and they might be confusing you to the point of frustration. This problem is all about location, location, location! So instead of your heart, these thoughts should be moved up into your head so you can look at them in a more analytical way. Getting your emotions organized will help you understand them better and send you into a much more productive phase. So instead of reacting to your feelings, start dissecting them.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:54:01 GMT

I`ve been so stressed lately. SO stressed. I`m having trouble with my classes and I am nowhere near ready for Pentecost at all. It feels like there`s not enough time to do everything.

And there`s also drama going on. One of my friends is being misunderstood by my family. I care about him and I am on his side but I don`t know what to do to help him because we aren`t on speaking terms right now.

Should I break the silence and confront him about it? The thing is, the reason why we aren`t speaking is because of me, and I don`t want him to get the wrong idea when I talk to him again. I feel horrible because I know he is a nice guy. I have never met a person as kind and selfless as he is. The things my family are accusing him of just doesn`t make sense. He isn`t that type of person. Because my family doesn`t know him personally, they think differently and they are blaming him. And it doesn`t help that they aren`t fond of his family either.

Or is it me that is wrong in thinking of him that way? Ugh, there`s so much to think about.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 05:13:16 GMT

I`m sorry for being so mean to you. Because if I`m nice to you, it will only hurt you more.

It`s better if you forget me.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:44:40 GMT

It`s been a while since I wrote about anything that`s been going on in my life. Things haven`t been that great but they`re not that bad either. So, basically everything is still the same with me. And to those who keep asking, I honestly don`t know what I`m doing. I`m just taking things a day at a time. I think that in this way, I`ll eventually figure out what it is I really want.

One of my friends from the Philippines is getting married. I wish that I could go but the wedding is in April, so I would still be busy with school. I`m very happy for him and I wish him and his fiance all the best.

I`ve been watching a lot of asian dramas lately. I finished watching Autumn Tale and Koizora (both the drama and movie). Right now, I`m watching Bloody Monday, which I am almost done with, and I started watching Devil Beside You because Tomo-chan recommended it to me.

Autumn Tale was okay. It`s about a brother and sister and how their family is torn apart when they find out that the girl is not related to them by blood. The parents find out who their real daughter is and they switch the girls back to live with their real families. The first family moves away to live at the U.S. but they come back many years later when the children are grown up and they all cross paths again. It`s sad, the characters are crying practically ALL the time. My favorite character is Han Tae Suhk. He`s hopelessly in love with the main female protaganist and would do anything for her but she is in love with his best friend. I`m always drawn to those kind of male characters in dramas.

I loved Koizora. I would recommend watching the movie first and then the drama because the movie simplifies the story and the drama gets more into detail. Hiro and Mika are my new favorite couple ever. I like that they love each other equally. I like that they both have such strong admiration for each other, in that they are willing to make the other one happy no matter what. I love the way they fall in love and the cute little things that they do whenever they are together. It seems like the typical love story. They meet, they fall in love, they go through heartaches. But this is the only one that`s ever made me go "Awwww" so many times and cry when the characters are in pain. There`s something about them that makes me want to believe that they should be together forever. The best reason to watch Koizora is because of Haruma Miura, who plays Hiro in the movie. He is absolutely gorgeous.

Haruma Miura is also the reason why I am watching Bloody Monday even though it`s not that great. It`s about a high school student, who turns out to be a genius hacker, and THIRD-i asks him to help them against a terrorist organization, in order to save Japan. I know, it sounds like something I would absolutely love since I`m the biggest 24 fan, but it`s honestly not that good. Some parts to it are just so predictable. Sometimes it does have its great moments, but so far, I`m not that crazy about it.

^ Haruma Miura. <3 I can`t believe he`s only 18.

Slumdog Millionaire

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 06:14:35 GMT

I watched Slumdog Millionaire last weekend with the family. It was such a great movie. I didn`t think I would have liked it because I thought the story line was boring at first, since it`s basically about a boy who goes on the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire show. But as the story progressed, I ended up loving it at the end.

Here`s a summary about what it`s about for those interested in watching it:

The story of Jamal Malik, an 18 year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, who is about to experience the biggest day of his life. With the whole nation watching, he is just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million rupees on India's "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" But when the show breaks for the night, police arrest him on suspicion of cheating; how could a street kid know so much? Desperate to prove his innocence, Jamal tells the story of his life in the slum where he and his brother grew up, of their adventures together on the road, of vicious encounters with local gangs, and of Latika, the girl he loved and lost. Each chapter of his story reveals the key to the answer to one of the game show's questions. Each chapter of Jamal's increasingly layered story reveals where he learned the answers to the show's seemingly impossible quizzes. But one question remains a mystery: what is this young man with no apparent desire for riches really doing on the game show? When the new day dawns and Jamal returns to answer the final question, the Inspector and sixty million viewers are about to find out. At the heart of its storytelling, lies the question of how anyone comes to know the things they know about life and love. Written by Fox Searchlight Pictures

If I Only Had The Heart - The Maine

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:22:56 GMT

I had a dream last night.
Where I woke up too late.
And everything I loved.
I began to hate.

*I know I sound repetitive,
Cause I`m repeating myself,
And I`m competitive,
I want you all by yourself.
And that alone is just the problem,
I`ve got these woes,
And I just can't solve them.
If I could gather up the nerve,
I`d put my feelings into words,
And if I weren`t so young, or stupid, or restless,
I might be able to just soon forget this.
Just forget this.

Please just forget me,
When I`m out all alone on the east coast.
And please don`t forgive me,
When you`re home all alone and you need me most.

Oh if I only had the heart,
To find out exactly who you are,
You know I`d try now.
But it`s just fine,
No you can`t save me,
It`s no fault but mine,
Please just blame me.
If I could gather up the nerve,
I'd put my feelings into words,
And if I weren`t so young, or stupid, or restless,
I might be able to just soon forget this.
Just forget this.

If I only had the heart, the nerve, the words, you`d think by now I would have learned